First dates are nerve-wracking; it’s even worse following up after the first date with a text message, which should be like a work of art, a very delicate one. A successful first date’s a lot like getting drunk: it makes you do dumb things. Typically, you wouldn’t text past midnight, that’s a basic courtesy, but first dates could result in making the mistake of sending messages at 4 AM.

There’s nothing like returning home from an unforgettable date, looking at your phone, wondering what the heck you’re going to do next. People claim that the important thing isn’t what’s said, but when it’s said, getting lost about the moment this “when” should happen. When’s too soon or too late? What should and shouldn’t be said? In this article, we’ll provide the complete “texting after the first date” guide.

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Let’s take a look at things you can say:

  1. Ask if they’ve reached home safely.
    It’s no rocket-science to inquire whether your date’s arrived home safely. It would display interest and concern, especially if your date’s got to cover a long distance before reaching home while being alone at night. Some women find this sweet; others find it kind of parental and strange.
  2. Show your impressions about the date.
    You can say something like, “had fun tonight, hoping for similar interactions and hopefully round two.” It’s a good way of gauging whether they’d like a second date and it helps in giving you an idea of whether they enjoyed the date. Remember, dating’s a learning experience, even if it doesn’t translate to further dates.
  3. Continue where you left
    Once you’re ready to text, begin conversations with topics you discussed on the date. Don’t reopen closed cases; initiate the discussion if it wasn’t finished due to lack of time or interruption. This shows that you’re paying attention and value conversations enough to continue them. A good sign to define you as a good listener, which people always value.
  4. Drop a casual message
    Ask them how they’re doing, like, “Hey, was wondering what you’re up to.”, but try to omit trivial stuff, just in case you made a mixed impression on the date. It’s a great way to follow-up post-date. It’s a no-brainer way of showing you care. However, not everyone finds it endearing. There’ll be people who find it too “relationship-like” and cringe.
  5. Find more date opportunities from the topics, discussed on the date
    Suppose you’ve discussed wanting to try new restaurants or activities sometime soon. In that case, you can text asking them if they’d like to get-together on the weekend to try different foods at the restaurant or participate in various activities you’ve discussed.

Now that we’ve covered things you CAN say, we’ve gathered some don’ts of texting from people. It’ll help when formulating the perfect message and things to do post-date.

Don’t:girl chats online

  1. Be cryptic. Nobody’s going to play detectives trying to figure meanings behind your messages. It’s a waste of time.
  2. Take ages to message; nobody’s too busy not to send a small text after the date. Neither does it take long to reply to one. Playing hard to get is okay, but not with people you fancy.
  3. Delay the asking for a second date. Take three days tops. What’s the point of beating around the bush? We get being nervous, but more than three days? Seriously?
  4. Get sexual. If you weren’t sleeping or had any sort of connection during the date. Please do yourself a favor and don’t make things worse by passing dirty jokes or making the conversation sexual, for God’s sake.
  5. Get personal details from the get-go. People aren’t comfortable with oversharing after a single date, be respectful, and never push for an answer.

Texting isn’t easy, but calling isn’t for everyone. Remember, moderation’s key; knowing when to send the message’s a work of art, requiring wits and agility. Don’t place too much pressure on yourself to perform perfectly. What works for some may not work for you. Learn from each encounter and apply your lessons. Get help from friends if needed, don’t torture yourself over small mistakes.

The bottom line is, believe in your ability and be true to your word. Only two things can happen, either you get a reply or get rejected: either way, life goes on. There’s no point in waiting for weeks crafting the perfect massage if you’re going to get rejected anyway, it’s better to be considered keen than not interested. Remember, never send late-night texts. Broken sleep may break your chances.

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