You want a dating partner or a friend, so you joined a dating site. However, apps create anxiety for people who use them too much. Singles see people viewing their profile pics and deciding whether to reply, so it’s natural to feel disappointed when they don’t contact you. If this happens and you’re not getting dates, you think something is wrong with your profile. You feel unworthy as a dating partner. Whereas if you didn’t use dating apps, you would focus on other activities.
Dating apps are great for sourcing introductions. When using apps in moderation, you meet adults who respect your boundaries. You also meet some bad eggs who waste your time.
Building up a conversation in a chatroom is hard. You must keep eliciting positive responses.
When you’ve been chatting away, and your match suddenly stops communication, you feel let down. They might fall asleep during a chat with no explanation. Then, you lose your train of thought and feel uncertain when the dialogue will resume. Try these tips for better chatting:
Chat Up Lines for Dating Success
A dating site user doesn’t know where a conversation will lead, but they want a good match. If the conversation goes well because there is a common interest, then they want to talk more. Here are things you can discuss:
- Make a positive comment about their picture (Are you a model? Because your photo looks like Vanity Fair cover)
- Compare her to something beautiful – you know that line about an angel that fell from heaven? Something like that will work, but not so cheesy (Is your name Venus? Because you look like a roman goddess!)
- Ask where they have traveled and/or want to travel in the future (Were you filming a movie? Because that photo of yours looks like a scene from some mega-blockbuster!)
- Ask about their favorite foods and drinks (do you know any good restaraunts around? Because that’s where I want to take you)
How to Keep Your Chat Going
You’ve made the introduction, but how do you keep the conversation flowing? Allow pauses in the conversation while the other personality types. Leave space for your partner to ask questions. Be thoughtful in your responses. Revisit stimulating topics and ask the other person for new topics. Strive for balance so no one dominates the conversation. A shy person might rely on you to carry the conversation.
Turn Chats Into Small Dates
Let the tension build up during chat before suggesting a meeting, or it feels like you’re rushing into the next step. An online dater may feel comfortable emailing back and forth for weeks before meeting either because they have other dates to attend or because they don’t want to meet if they fear rejection.
You might ask why someone hesitates to meet, but then you might not like the answer. Be ready for different reactions, and don’t get into fear of something you weren’t counting on. Dating is always a thing of choice and chance. Why would you harm yourself with endless thoughts about “…how this or that would have been going if I’ve made a different decision…”? Be positive and believe us: there is a person in the world that is totally yours!
Keep the Positive Vibes Flowing
This sounds like a no-brainer, but an attentive partner person recognizes any signs their dating match doesn’t want to discuss something or feels excited about something. Emojis aren’t always the signs you need. Focus on the chat and keep the conversation going in a positive way. Avoid uncomfortable topics.
Once you know each other better, tougher conversations happen face to face. For example, if you want to disclose a criminal background, it doesn’t feel right in an online chat. Whatever you type will lack the appropriate context required for such topics, and you should be really careful about choosing things to share in a straightforward dialog.
Provide Steady Reassurance
When you’re in online chat, imagine you’re building a brand much like a company providing chat support to distant customers. You are gaining trust with a new person. It helps to offer reassurance. To show your support, be available when they want to talk. Don’t rush your replies.
Don’t brush off topics they want to discuss at length unless they violate your boundaries. This kind of sensitive conversation helps your dating match overcome anxiety. This makes even the spikiest conversations become cozy and comfortable to settle in.
Be Your Authentic Self
People understand your personality through repeated interactions. They take you at face value. If you misrepresent yourself, then this can backfire later. For example, exaggerate that you go to the gym several times a week because your match is super fit, but you barely make it each Saturday for weights.
Anyone who dates you will eventually learn your patterns, and your integrity comes into question if your lifestyle differs from how you describe yourself in early conversations. You can become a greater version of yourself by just being who you are. No matter how paradox it sounds, actually.
